oh god the rape fog is back!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
