guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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