Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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