I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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