Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
