So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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