This is not my ceiling
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
