Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
