Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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