Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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