is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
