If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
