also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
