oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
