How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
