i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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