She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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