The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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