Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
