why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize