it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
