The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
