I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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