Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize