Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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