He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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