Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
