Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
