I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
