i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
