Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
