she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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