I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Terrible idea I love it
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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