Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
