i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
tell me about the eggs
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
