i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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