Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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