that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
