I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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