I cockslap morals
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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