Girls should come with a carfax report
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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