Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
