I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
