another moral hangover. fuck.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
