How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
