No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
