are you still at the devil's house?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize