she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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