You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
