Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
