she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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