her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
