Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize