yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
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I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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