No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
