u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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