It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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