Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize