But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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