I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
