I just saw a hot homeless man
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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