hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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