Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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