my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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