all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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