You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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