Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
