And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
