My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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