i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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